Capture Your Grief, Day 2

Capture Your Grief is going on this month. You can read all about this event here. I'm posting all of my photographs to the event's Facebook page, but I also want them all in one place, so I will post them here as well. These posts will be pretty brief, so I probably will not link all of them to Facebook. Just come directly to my blog's website if you want to look at them. I'll continue with my regular posts as well.

The topic for Day 2 is: Before Loss Self Portrait

This picture was taken on June 9, 2012. I was on bed rest and 20 weeks pregnant with Weston. Two days later, my bleeding worsened significantly, and I checked into the hospital for the duration of the pregnancy (with the exception of a few hopeful days back home from June 14 to the morning of June 17).

It's hard to tell in this picture, because my hair is pulled back, but it is blonde. For those of you who know me, it basically is the same color it has always been. This tidbit of information will more relevant in tomorrow's picture.

When this picture was taken, we were so hopeful. Although my pregnancy was high-risk and complicated, my symptoms had gradually lessened. We thought my condition (still amniochorionic separation at that time, no chronic abruption diagnosis yet) would resolve itself, as it almost always does.

When one thinks of typical "before" and "after" pictures, it's the "after" pictures that are usually better. They signify some sort of transformation, usually physical. Forgive my stating the obvious: this is one transformation no one should ever experience. I'd keep the "before" picture and throw out the "after" any day.