Mom

I would be leaving a big part of Weston's story out if I did not talk about my mom. She has been a crucial support system from day one. She is also known as Oma, to Caroline and Weston, although he doesn't know it yet.

When "the incident" happened, [GROSS PREGNANCY STUFF ALERT] which was characterized by swift and heavy bleeding, I called her. I thought I was having a miscarriage, and she was there for me through the fear and the hours of waiting.

After things calmed down a bit after "the incident," she and I were able to speak more rationally about things. It became obvious very quickly that this was not going to be a normal pregnancy and that I would need a lot of extra help. She made some suggestions regarding medical care (from a mother's perspective, I can understand being very concerned about your child's medical care) but always prefaced her suggestion with the statement that she did not want to intrude. So, she was being my mother but respecting my need to make decisions as an adult.

It is very easy to get sucked into a pity party when things like this happen. When I would get sucked into that (aka, crying on Satan's shoulder, as I've heard a pity party described), she would gently remind me that there were other people in my life who depended on me, who needed me, and who loved me. Like it or not, she was/is usually right about everything! Mama really does know best.

One of the last things I did before my pregnancy went from "normal" to "abnormal" was go up to Flagstaff to visit her. It was mid-April and unseasonably cold. In fact, it snowed all weekend up there! Caroline loved it. My mom had recently fulfilled a lifelong dream of building a chapel at her house. That weekend was the chapel's dedication, and Shannon, Caroline, and I went up to Flagstaff for the event. My mom's house (the house I grew up in) is in the woods at the top of a long, steep, and winding driveway. Mom owns a snow plow to improve access in the winter. She had looked forward to this weekend for months (as had we), had arranged for catering, had prepared a beautiful dedication service for the chapel, and now had to wonder if she needed to cancel it. She and Vincent had invited several people, and they were concerned that folks would not make it up the driveway, would get their cars stuck, etc. I was so disappointed for her.

In the end, the show must (and did) go on, and it was beautiful. Mom handled things with grace when Caroline decided to be very vocal during the middle of the service ("Mommy, I want to stay in the chapel!" is forever recorded). My mom moved away for a while to attend seminary and has gone through some major life changes in the past 15 years, building a new life for herself along the way. It is wonderful to see her doing what she loves with people she loves, all the while loving her family, including grandchildren, so well. We had a nice cozy weekend at the house with her and her ever-patient husband. For me, it was like the calm before the storm and is a memory I will always cherish.

Vincent, Mom's husband, is from Connecticut. All of his family still lives there, so they spend chunks of time in Flagstaff and over there in Connecticut. Although both of their places are in serene locations that provide beauty and relaxation to so many people, they are always on the go. They had planned to go to Connecticut at the end of May and stay until around Thanksgiving. We were going to go out there for a couple of weeks this summer, and Mom was going to fly back around my due date in October to help out. They had scheduled a nice, long vacation for mid-July.

When mid-May rolled around, we still didn't know the severity of my situation. Everyone thought my placenta issue would resolve on its own, as they usually do. My mom called and asked if she should postpone her long-planned trip. We decided that she would go to Connecticut. I was so glad she went when she did, because she and Vincent got to stop in New Orleans for a mini-vacation along the way. Little did we know that would be the last vacation for them for a while.

Let me stop and say that no one prays like my mother. That is one of the greatest gift a parent can give a child, one that I am still working on regarding my own children. She did (and does) it faithfully.

Things took a more serious turn in mid-June when I entered the hospital for the first time. Within a week, I was back in the hospital for the duration of the pregnancy. Although Mom just gotten settled in at the house in Connecticut, she flew back to Arizona to help my family. She stayed at our house with Shannon and Caroline for two weeks. Shannon would work during the day, and she would take care of  Caroline, bringing her to the hospital to see me every afternoon. My nurses loved her too. She laughed with me, cried with me, ate gross hospital food in my room with me. She always advocated but never pushed. She was exhausted (and hot!) but never left my side.

After two weeks, she went up to Flagstaff for a breather. Vincent flew out to spend the week with her (his daughter just had a baby too!). Toward the end of the week, she got a panicked call from me that the doctors wanted to deliver the baby and, a few hours later, the call from Shannon that, indeed, they were taking me in for a c-section. She and Vincent came down to Phoenix immediately. He has since flown back to Connecticut, and she will be here to help indefinitely. She has met Weston and is praying for him constantly.

The crazy thing is, my sister is pregnant and due in mid-November (only 2.5 weeks after my due date). Once things stabilize for me, they are going to get crazy for her! I hope my mom can go away for 6 months after this is all over (although I would miss her terribly!).

Being at the very beginning of my NICU journey, I have no idea what I need from one minute to the next. I am happy, sad, frustrated, weepy, incredibly snappy and grouchy: you name it, I am feeling it. She goes on loving me as only a mother could, helping me keep my sanity, our house stay orderly, our daughter stay fed, and our clothes stay clean. She also does her best to respect Shannon's privacy. I have no idea what we would do without her. I hope I can be for Caroline and Weston half of what she has been for me.