Little Lungs Part 2

Today was another hard day for Weston and for us. I really wish I had some more introspective posts to share, but too much is going on right now. When I called the NICU to check on Weston last night, I was told that he had been put on the oscillator earlier that evening. His blood gases were coming back better, but, according to his night nurse, the settings had to be fine-tuned until Weston could get settled in on the new machine, and they were not at that point yet. I had heard that the oscillator makes the babies vibrate, so I asked the nurse if it would be upsetting for Shannon and I to see. She said that it would be traumatic but not horrible. The night ended up being pretty uneventful.

Although I had to get up at 11:00, 2:00, and 5:00 to pump, I slept surprisingly well between pumping sessions and woke up feeling rested. Shannon slept better too. Today, I have heard from FOUR people that they could not sleep last night, including my mother and sister, so they stayed up and prayed for our family, especially Weston.

I usually don't call to check in on Weston in the mornings, but I did today. S was back after several days off. They had actually switched Weston back to the regular ventilator earlier this morning because his blood gases were good. He had gained 20 grams, putting him up to 1 lb 8 oz, and he pooped by himself, so we were very encouraged. S said they would re-place the picc line later today as well.

By the time we showed up at noon, though, Weston was back on the oscillator. Side note: I watch almost no TV, but I do like Grey's Anatomy, the medical drama. There was an episode last season in which a baby was born very prematurely. I must have been already pregnant when I watched it, because it has stuck with me. Anyway, there was a point in the show when they put the baby on a machine, and entire baby shook violently. It was upsetting to see. Then the baby got a horrible bowel infection and died. Not fun to watch.

After hearing that Weston would vibrate while on the oscillator, I put two and two together and realized that the Grey's Anatomy baby had been on an oscillator, so I was expecting the violent shaking. So, I walked into Weston's pod today, saw him positioned differently and hooked up to a different machine. I looked at Weston, and he was still. So, I was wondering what in the world that big machine was. S must have noticed I was confused, because he said that Weston, in fact, had been placed back on the oscillator. I got closer and saw that his hands were vibrating a bit, NOTHING like Grey's Anatomy. Whew! S had actually seen the same episode and told me how fake everything was. Kind of like my eye-rolling at the legal drama shows when, for example, the cross-examining attorney gets in the witness's face and yells at him/her and then "testifies" him/herself. Sorry to disappoint you all, but that never happens either.

Anyway, I digress. Although viewing Weston on the oscillator was easier than expected for us, Weston HATED it. Some babies don't mind it, but not Weston. They like to sedate babies who don't like the oscillator so that they will totally rest and let the oscillator breathe for them. That's the best way to get better. Weston was sedated when we got there, but he was fighting it. I cupped my hands over his legs, and he was kicking against me for a very long time.

We helped with rounds, and I got a nice gift of POOP when I changed his diaper. He had gone on his own again. :-) He looked bigger and longer to me, but it might just be his new angle. They had to move him around because the tube connected to the oscillator is so much shorter. S told us Dr. M wanted to talk to us, which is always scary. It turned out not to be that scary: he just told us that the ventilators are very hard on babies' lungs, which we already knew, and that the oscillator would hopefully help things improve. The blood gas numbers were coming back good, but his oxygen settings were/are still too high for their comfort level. Too much oxygen is bad for Weston's lungs too.

Also, Weston's scalp IV is still in place. He is scheduled for a head ultrasound tomorrow to check on his brain bleed, but they can't do it with the scalp IV there. Dr. M would rather leave in the IV than do the ultrasound. As much as I'm dying to know about the brain bleed, I took that as a good sign that they are not worried about it. The hydrocephalus is only mild (which I didn't know until yesterday), and his head circumference is stable, so that's probably a pretty good indicator that nothing in his head is worsening.

After we finished rounds, we just hung out with Weston for a while. The humidity has been turned off in his incubator, which means that his skin is a little tougher (yippee!), he does a better job of balancing his electrolytes, AND we can put things in there with him, such as blankets, stuffed animals, and/or photos. I made a little card to take tomorrow, and we'll have Caroline draw him a picture and put some photos of ourselves in there.

So, as we sat there with Weston, he slowly calmed down. His stats were pretty good, and the oxygen settings were OK. We were about to leave when he started to de-sat. I NEVER leave unless all his stats are good, so I figured it would come up in a minute, and we could get going. Anything below 85 is a de-sat. No one gets particularly bothered if he stays in the 80s, usually. He was hovering at 81 for what seemed like a really long time. S came over and silenced the alarm, as usual, but he stayed there at 81.

After what seemed like forever, he started dropping lower, into the high 70s, mid 70s, low 70s. When he got down to the 70s, S came over to check things out. I still had my hand on Weston. Then he went down to 66. I have NEVER seen it that low. S suctioned him and wiggled his tube a bit-no change. Then he turned up his oxygen (to 100%, I later learned)-no change. So he called in the respiratory therapist, P. She came in and asked me (nicely and very calmly) to move. (I stayed remarkably calm through all this.) They messed with him a while, and someone else came in. By this time, the stress had probably sprouted gray hair and wrinkles on me. FINALLY, his numbers improved. S and P were talking calmly about how he had "clamped down."

Dr. M came in a few minutes later, and he was pretty calm too. Apparently babies can clamp down, which means their lungs just shut down for a bit. It sounds absolutely horrifying to me, but no one seemed too alarmed. Sometimes they have to use a bag of oxygen to manually pump into them to get their lungs going again. I know they have had to use the bag on him once before when we were not there. Apparently, it happens more often to older babies after their lungs have gotten more damaged by the ventilator. So we can expect it to happen periodically until, eventually, he will grow out of it. As a side note, I hope I NEVER have to watch them bag my baby.

We finally left, mentally exhausted. It was an emotionally intense visit, but nothing like yesterday. I came home, had lunch, and visited a good friend that I have not gotten to see enough lately. We were bed rest buddies for a while, and I got spoiled seeing her all the time. And, in case you're horrified at that, she is my neighbor, so I was not traipsing all over town to see her in violation of my bed rest instructions. And I'm happy to say she had a healthy, full-term baby after all that bed rest. Another thing: as her in-law mentioned, if you want to get pregnant, don't move to our street!

Before leaving, I asked S to call me when it was done. He called mid-afternoon to tell me that they were going to wait and do it tomorrow because Weston just wasn't stable enough yet. That was a little hard to hear. His latest blood gas had come back at a good number for the carbon dioxide, but his oxygen settings were still much higher than they wanted. S started him on a sedative drip, which was a higher and continuous dose of what he had been receiving before. Weston was still really fighting the oscillator, and the key is to have him completely relax and let the oscillator breathe for him. It's the best way for his lungs to get better. They also started him on antibiotics, just as a precaution, but so far the blood test and cultures indicate no infection. He was on 90% oxygen at that time, so S was hoping the sedative would help. They also had to adjust the pressure settings. It was starting to make me nervous, because you obviously can't go much higher than 90%. But he had some good news: they had taken a chest x-ray this morning before putting Weston back on the oscillator. They took another one this afternoon, and it was already looking better: the alveoli were already starting to open up.

A few hours later, Shannon mentioned that he is just weary over all this and that he wanted to go see Weston again. It was dinnertime, so practically speaking it was not the best idea. Then he asked Caroline if she wanted to go see Baby Weston, and she said YES. So off we went. It was 6:40 when we got there, and I apologized profusely to S for coming right before shift change, but he was a very good sport. By then, the sedative had kicked in, and Weston was snug as a bug in a rug. He had a little dolphin tucked around his head; he looked so cute. Thankfully, the oxygen setting was back down to 50%, which is obviously much better. The goal is eventually for Weston to get down to that setting without a sedative, but it could take a while. All the blood gases were coming back good.

Also, the twins that were in Weston's pod were moved to the intermediate nursery today. It looked really empty in there, but there was already a new baby in there by the time we went back this evening. We had dinner at Smashburger and put Caroline to bed late, but she is fine. Her latest thing is talking about how we are doing things together. At dinner, she said, "We're eating together!" I'm so happy the three of us are together again and can't wait until the FOUR of us are together all the time, and I'll have to change my blog name.

A friend of ours, who is also an elder at our church, is getting a prayer meeting together for Weston at the hospital tomorrow night. We are so grateful for this group of people, some of whom we don't even know, who are praying so hard for our family. It is truly humbling.

Please keep praying for us. This is such a long road, and this ongoing lung issue is the scariest thing yet about Weston's situation. We need the breath of heaven. Please pray that the Little Lungs Part 3 post will simply inform you that Weston is off the oscillator and that his lungs have improved.

The poor and needy search for water, but there is none;
their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the Lord will answer them;
I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
and the parched ground into springs.
I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.
I will set junipers in the wasteland,
the fir and the cypress together,
so that people may see and know,
may consider and understand,
that the hand of the Lord has done this,
that the Holy One of Israel has created it.
Isaiah 41:17-20