In the Mountains

Today is Weston's one-month birthday, which he is celebrating in heaven. Selfishly, I wish we were at the NICU right now, handing out cupcakes to the staff and freezing one for him to eat next year or so (yuck!).

But, instead, we are running away from our pain, I mean relaxing, in the beautiful mountains of Park City, Utah. And I really am kidding at that last statement. We cannot outrun our pain at losing Weston; it followed us here, as I knew it would. But that's ok. We are not ready for real life yet (it's been so long that I've forgotten what it's like!).

I have always felt closer to God and more at peace in the mountains, so we are in the right place right now. Being here gives me a lot of time to think, pray, cry, talk through feelings with Shannon, reconnect with Caroline, and read. These are all things I need to do. I have a lot of thoughts swirling through my head right now, and a blog post half written and waiting to be finished, edited, and published, but we are having Internet troubles, so the longer posts will have to wait until I return to Phoenix and my full-sized computer.

 Caroline has a new thing that I love: she sings "Jesus Loves Me," announces that she sang it for Baby Weston, and blows him a kiss. I am so happy that she loves her baby brother so much. I pray that time does not dampen my transparency with my love for my son. Happy one month birthday, Weston! You are dearly loved.