Before and After

This will take your breath away.

I used to think I was a little morbid by preferring Weston's post-death pictures to his pictures taken while alive. Then I read the above article and looked at the accompanying pictures, and I was glad to learn that my son isn't the only one who looks more peaceful when dead.

These people were very ill when the "before" pictures were taken. Perhaps some or all of them were afraid of dying. But the "after" pictures are truly breathtaking, as are Weston's. They are peaceful. I don't know if Weston was afraid of dying, but he was always very sick. He only found peace in utero and in death.

I have shared some post-death pictures of Weston. The pictures are stunning, but the ones I have shared publicly are edited. His skin was very irritated across his face from where his breathing tube had been taped. The nurses ripped the tape off quickly, because, well, he was dying, and we all wanted him in my arms as quickly as possible. The professional photographer removed the red marks.

There are some pictures of Weston I took in his last week of life that are awful. I have never shared them with anyone except family. I can hardly bear to look at them myself and will probably never share them publicly.

Retouched or not, Weston's post-death pictures are priceless. I think they are beautiful. And here is one I have never shared publicly until now. I took it with my humble iPhone:

That is my mother's hand. I have always loved this picture. I feel like it should be a big deal, introducing this picture into cyberspace, but Weston is already in the New York Times. This is just another picture. It's what death looks like, and everybody dies.

It is a photograph of my beautiful son. I hope I don't regret sharing this photograph. Please handle with care.

P.S. I didn't find all of these articles on my own. Today's article, and this one, came to me by way of the MISS Foundation's Facebook page. Dr. Joanne finds a wide range of fascinating and/or profound articles. You should check out their website and like them on Facebook, even if you're not a bereaved parent. There is so much beauty there, even in the midst of every parent's worst nightmare.

That's what the above picture is: a microcosm of beauty and every parent's worst nightmare.